⚠️ Content Warning: I’m discussing youth suicide. If you are not in the right mindset, please skip the “How’s School?!” section.

Girl, What’s Been Going On?

HAPPY BLACK WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH! Where is this year going? We’re already in March?! (Although y’all know March is my favorite month 😉!)

When I reflected on this past month since I slid into your inboxes, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Like the way y’all have shown up for me since I started this year is humbling and heartwarming. As I stepped into this idea of a year of radical self-love and choosing “worthy” as my word of the year, I had no idea how much it would open me up to not only love myself, but also to allow my people to love on me. From the surprise gifts, lunches, and even flowers, I have been all smiles in the past month. 🥰

I’ve also been feeling grateful for something that may seem very small to those of you who have always had 20/20 vision — I can now see in the shower without glasses! 😬 If you didn’t know, I had corrective eye surgery in February. After a lot of research and going back and forth in my mind on if it was worth it, I decided to have SMILE surgery. (Similar to LASIK, but they don’t create a flap in your eye which can later cause severe dry-eye.) I could probably write an entire issue about the research I did, the consultation I had, and how my recovery has gone. And although I’m still in my recovery phase, I already know it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself. Like waking up and being able to see — priceless. Knowing that I’ll be able to swim easier — priceless. Being able to wear ALL of the cute glasses without worry of my prescription not fitting — expensive 🤑, but worth it! At some point after my two-month follow-up I’ll try to detail more of my experience, but for now, if you’re interested in knowing more, just let me know.

Another reason for my feelings of gratitude… being absolutely committed to my growth, self-love, and healing. Thanks to my bestie (even if she doesn’t know it yet), Dr. Ashley Hickson, I went into March being completely aware of my energy, boundaries, and healing process after reading The Sugar Jar. When I tell y’all this book snatched my edges and read me for filth - phew. But it was in all the best ways. With every chapter I felt like I was being seen, filled up, and made better. It was the perfect book to read before my birthday. Healing isn’t easy, but when you have tools like this book, it feels less daunting. I highly recommend it to y’all!

The bursting gratitude has extended its way to the plans for my ovaries. If you’re interested in learning more about my evolving plan for motherhood, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. I’ll be discussing my recent visit to a fertility clinic and what my ideal timeline may be for becoming a Mommy in the next drop.

How’s School?!

Y’all - this has been an emotionally draining term for me. Not because of my own mental health, but because all of my classes are centered around aspects of mental health, adolescents, and potential interventions. As a reminder, I decided to make my life hard and am taking three courses. And remember when I said I wouldn’t do it again? Welp. That changed tonight when I signed up for one additional class for term 4. 🤦🏾‍♀️ It’s one credit, which should make it really manageable, but yeah — clearly I’m a glutton for punishment.

Okay, back to this term. Class list reminder -

1. Adolescent Health & Development

2. Children In Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth

3. Prevention in Mental Disorders: Public Health Interventions

I went into this term thinking I would really excel because mental health and adolescent health are my jams. I could talk about both all day. But when you decide to write about Black youth suicide for two classes, it gets pretty damn depressing quick. The struggle with compartmentalization I’ve been feeling isn’t new to me, but I think still being so fresh in my own mental health journey and knowing that suicidal ideation was present for me not too long ago — my body mentally and physically feels uncomfortable and stuck when it comes to reading and writing this term. There’s probably a layer of the burgeoning Mommy in me that also doesn’t like to write about Black youth suicide. Y’all it’s a lot.

What’s the data look like?

Prepare yourself. None of it’s good.

In 2019 and 2020, overall rates of suicide declined after a steady increase from 2000-2018, but recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows rates of suicide rose in 2021 surpassing the 2018 rate peak. When data are disaggregated by race, ethnicity, and age, it shows that the rates of suicide have steadily increased for Black adolescents ages 10-24 years old, meaning their rates were not part of the national decline in 2019 and 2020.

In 2021, approximately 11 per 100,000 adolescents 10-24 years old died by suicide, surpassing the 2018 peak of 10.7 per 100,000. Between 2018-2021 there was a relative percent change of 2.8 for adolescents 10-24 years old in the United States, which is greatly accounted for by the disproportionate percent changes in racial and ethnic minoritized communities. Black adolescents 10-24 years old experienced the highest suicide rate percent change of 36.6, while white adolescents 10-24 years old experienced a relative decline in suicide rates of -3.9.

Data from the 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) administered to students 14-18 years old showed that 18.8% reported suicidal ideation and 8.9% had at least one suicide attempt in the past 12 months. Specific to Black students 14-18 years old, there is a significant disparity in the attempted suicide rate when compared with white and Hispanic students. Overall 11.8% of Black students have attempted suicide compared to 7.9% and 8.9% for white and Hispanic students, respectively. Further disparity can be found looking at Black female students for which 15.2% have attempted suicide compared to 9.4% and 11.9% for white and Hispanic female students, respectively.

Does this help you understand why I’ve been experiencing discomfort this term? It’s been so bad, that I’m wondering how in the hell am I going to write my dissertation? While I don’t anticipate writing about youth suicide, I know that whatever I write about will likely cause younger versions of me to be on edge and need their own healing. I know my best work comes from working and researching what I’m passionate about, but it is also what causes me to need days and sometimes week of introversion to reset and find my strength again. Thank goodness we have spring break after this term! I need it more than you know. Two more weeks. Send me well wishes!

What Are You Doing For Fun?

When is the last time you went to a spa? I don’t know if it can be considered “fun,” but I went to one last week for my birthday and it felt like a life changing experience. I felt so soft, so vulnerable, and so in tune with my body. In fact, I was so zen and calm that I spoke to my ovaries and named my future babies. 😳 Say what now?! Yeah, your girl was in the zone!

If you’re following me on IG, you know I decided to look at the health equity behind my spa visit. I won’t revisit the entire post here, but just know HEJ can find the tie-in to health equity in all things. Check out the post and share it, if you haven’t yet. ✊🏾

Wait, What’s Next?

Since I plan to celebrate my birthday all month, this is the last time I’m sharing my Amazon wishlist. As I wrote earlier, I am so grateful for all of the love y’all have already shown. If you feel moved to buy anything, please know it means the world to me. Truly. ♥️

Have you been listening to Health Equity Mondays? If the answer is no — why not?! 🤷🏾‍♀️ In the month of February, Omari and I discussed the East Palestine train derailment and the state of Black maternal health. If you’re listening to a lot of podcasts all the time and feel like you can’t add one more… this one is monthly (unless y’all ask us for more 😉). You can find our episodes by searching “Health Equity Mondays” on all podcast platforms. Not into podcasts? Don’t worry. You can watch us on YouTube! If you’re listening and have comments and/or future topic ideas, let us know by answering a few questions, here. Who knows, you might even hear your name on the show!

I’ll be back in your inboxes in April. If you miss me - you know how to get more of me.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.