⚠️Content Warning: I’m talking about resilience, which can be uncomfortable for some people. If you do not have the capacity right now, skip the “How’s School?” section.

⌛️Length Warning: I’ve realized almost every newsletter has contained this warning. I’m not going to hold y’all… I’m longwinded. So from now on, I’ll just say take your time reading anything from me. I’ll be more judicious in using the length warning for times when it feels like it would take longer to read than any of my other newsletters.

Girl, What's Been Going On?!

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH! Have you checked out the Black History Month items at the Health Equity Jazz shop?! There’s still time for these limited edition items!

It’s wild to think we’re already in February. Is it just me or did January come in, stay for a second, and then pick up her purse and go to her next event? 🤷🏾‍♀️ As I thought about what to share from over the past month, it felt like the most fitting item to share is that I am feeling a lot better with my mental health. My depression and anxiety are in a much more manageable place, and the bad days are fewer and less intense. It seems like I’ve found a good mix with the medication, talk therapy, light therapy, acupuncture, slow morning routines, and radical self love. As I intimately know the mental health journey is not linear, and tomorrow may take me for a spin, it feels so damn good to know that I’m nearing the light on the upside of this journey.

Last month, I listened to Marissa McKool’s podcast about consistency, and it really made me think… hard. For context the title or the episode is “Consistency is Overrated,” so you can imagine the position she takes. As she explained her thoughts on the idea of consistency and the personal attack we put on ourselves for not accomplishing goals in our self-imposed timeline, it really made me think about how hard I am on myself and how negatively I talk to myself when I feel like I’m not fitting my mental picture of consistency. And to be clear, this negative self-talk spans across all facets of my life, not just school and work - I’m an equal opportunity jerk to myself over a completely subjective characteristic. As Marissa reminds us, consistency can mean something very different from one person to another, but yet we all seem give it power in our perceptions of how reliable/trustworthy/good a person may be. How Sway?

I may paint a picture of being flexible with myself and extending myself grace, but honestly as a recovering perfectionist, this is all new to me. (Remember when I shared how my therapist broke me when she tapped into the why behind my perfectionism? — see issue #3 for context.) It has taken a lot of reflection, affirmation journaling, and practicing positive self-talk to get me to this place. While it may be fairly new to allow myself to show up how and when I can, I do know there’s a freedom I have never felt before in allowing myself to be superhuman. Part of embracing my humanity is my slow morning routine. It makes me stop, be present, and listen to my body. There can be 1,000 things on the other side of that routine, but for that sacred period of time, none of it matters. It’s just me and my needs (and well, Jase and Ginger because y’all know they not letting me have a full routine that doesn’t include them).

If you’d like to learn all the ins and outs of my slow morning routine, check out a free trial of the HEJ Inner Circle. I’ll be describing my routine and the impact it has had on me in the next Friday drop.

How's School?!

Yep - school is back in session. That month went by so fast! I know this is why most of you are here, so let’s dive in.

As a recap, I am taking THREE classes this term. (This will be the last time I do this - 🤞🏾!) Remember how I said I’m extending myself grace now… well that means allowing myself to take one class P/F, while we’re still allowed to do so. (JHU doesn’t typically allow courses to be taken P/F, but due to the pandemic they’ve extended the option for this school year. Students are advocating for the policy to become permanent, but who knows if that will happen.)

My three courses this term are:

1. Adolescent Health and Development

2. Children in Crisis: An Asset-Based Approach to Working with Vulnerable Youth (in-person)

3. Prevention of Mental Disorders: Public Health Interventions

Before I dive into the nitty-gritty, I have to share something that was said in my in-person class during the first week. We were discussing the idea of a single story and as a student was commenting, she said, “in older movies… you know like from the 90s…” 😫 Y’all I felt so attacked and so old at the same time. Like she must’ve meant the 1890s… right? Cause she can’t be talking about my childhood movies as older… right? The disrespect. Let me collect myself.

Okay, I’m back… We’ve been in class for two weeks and I’m already causing trouble. 🤷🏾‍♀️ And not bad trouble, but you know me - good trouble. If you are familiar with adolescent health and vulnerable youth, you know there cannot be a course that doesn’t explore the concept of resilience within those populations. For those who are unfamiliar, let me share an article you can read on the concept and break it down in two sentences for you: Resilience is the conceptual theory that when faced with trauma, stress, or obstacles, some people have the ability to positively overcome those experiences. It is not a personality trait, thus, everyone has the capacity to be resilient when faced with stressful situations if equipped with the right tools or assets. It sounds great, right? So why did I cause good trouble this past week when discussing it? 🤔

Because I’m over the concept of resilience….

Now, you’re probably clutching your collective pearls and saying, “but HEJ - you’re an adolescent focused health equitist, how can you not love the idea of resilience?” I won’t go into the weeds on the reason I am no longer a fan girl for resilience research because it very well might end up being my dissertation topic, but I’ll recap some of what I shared in both of my courses, Adolescent Health and Development and Children in Crisis.

I have been in the field of resilience research for about a decade now and it has not evolved in practice from putting the onus on the individual to become resilient to their environment. As we discuss upstream factors and the social/political/structural determinants of health, how can we in public health continue to tout that the best you can do is learn to deal with your potentially negative environment? It’s nonsensical at this point.

In many ways the idea of resilience has become akin to the trope of the strong Black woman — It strips youth of their humanity and allows those with a savior complex to say, “I did a good job. I gave them the tools to be resilient,” without addressing why they need to be resilient in the first place. Yes, there are emerging theories and frameworks that include a community level approach to resilience, but if everyone in the community is under the same constraints, we’re not getting any closer to the root of the problems. Now to be clear, I think people living in stressful situations do need to be equipped with the tools to survive and thrive in their environments, but it should be done in conjunction with programs that identify and ameliorate upstream factors and determinants. And lastly before I get off my soapbox, the field of resilience research is far too white. Many of the programs, capacity building tools, and assessments were developed by white researchers and validated on white youth. Structural, cultural, and linguistic competency anyone?

So yeah - HEJ is still alive and present as a space-taker in every room I am in. And I do think my professors appreciated my perspective and willingness to express a dissenting opinion. It makes for good discussion, right?

What Are You Doing For Fun?

Hm. I had to think about this. Not because I haven’t been having fun, but because I wondered what’s newsletter worthy? I think it would have to be attending the Harry Potter Forbidden Forest Experience. (And yeah, I was conflicted because of the way the author has tainted the series with her terf comments, but Harry Potter was something I enjoyed with my Mommy. So this is one of the very few times I will separate the author/artist from the work — she is not synonymous with Harry Potter for me.)

It was a very cool experience to walk through the dark woods and see scenes from the movie and have the chance to let your inner child be free. It was also nice to have spiked cider walking around to warm up. 😉

Wait, What's Next?

When I slide into your inboxes next month, I’ll be a year older. And I know there are a lot of women who fear getting older, but if there’s one thing I will not be upset about… it’s getting to live more of this life with all of you. So I look forward to coming back next month with the wisdom of someone who has completed another rotation around the sun, or something like that. If you’re into gift giving, or looking for gift ideas for yourself, check out my Amazon wishlist. FYI: My birthday is March 1. 🥳

If you want to hear from me more often, don’t forget about the option to become part of the HEJ Inner Circle. For $8 per month, or $88 per year, you’ll have access to a more frequent newsletter that will be more centered around the Jasmine behind Health Equity Jazz. Recent newsletters have discussed why MLK day is hard for me, the concept of home, and the upcoming discussion of my slow morning routine. If you want to upgrade to the premium subscription for free, I’m running a 60-day free trial through February 14. Additional questions? Email me!

Don’t forget to listen to Health Equity Mondays later this month! Are you asking what is Health Equity Mondays? It’s my new monthly podcast with The Public Health Millennial, where we share our insights and understanding of public health and health equity. You can find our first episode (Apple podcast) and all new episodes by searching “Public Health Careers” on all other podcast platforms & YouTube! If you’ve already listened, let us know your thoughts and future topic ideas by answering a few questions, here.

Until next time, always remember to take up as much space as you need.